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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672282">Clutter Bug</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_shirt/pseuds/t_shirt'>t_shirt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gundam Wing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Lemon, Fluff, M/M, sap, slight angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:22:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_shirt/pseuds/t_shirt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected love confession rocks Duo’s world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>1x2 - Relationship, background 3x4 - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Clutter Bug</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Post War Cannon<br/>1x2, Background 3x4<br/>Fluff, sap, slight angst, eventual lemon</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Summary: An unexpected love confession rocks Duo’s world. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the hell is his problem?”</p>
<p>“Maybe he’s just sick of tripping over your shit!” Wufei grumbled kicking my empty WacDonald’s drink cup off the catwalk where it just missed Hiiro’s head while he made a hasty exit below. </p>
<p>“Hey, man! I wasn’t finished with that!” I groused. </p>
<p>Man! You’d think these guys would loosen up since the war was over, but hell no! They were all still walking around with a stick up their ass. `Cept Quat, but then he periodically had Trowa up his, so they’d both loosened up a little. I was really beginning to think Hiiro was just never going to be able to adjust to civy life. Not even the buffer of being an agent for the Preventor’s was serving to detox him off the high we’d been on for...ever. Personally, I couldn’t get enough of just kicking back and living life for a change. Even Wufei had chilled out a lot, though apparently he had some issues with my less than immaculate tendencies. </p>
<p>“How can you work in such clutter?” he grouched stepping over me and my leftover French fries. I managed to save the last of the little spuds before he crushed them under foot, but lost my tension wrench in the bargain when my elbow knocked it off the catwalk to clatter and bang on the floor near my wayward drink cup. “You are a complete slob,” he sort of chuckled dancing and swaying cautiously while he extracted himself from my chaotic little portion of our workspace. </p>
<p>“Maybe we should buy him a trash can for Christmas,” Trowa smirked before poking his head back into the access panel on the ship we were dissecting. </p>
<p>“Hey, I keep my clutter to myself, thank you,” I defended relaxing on my back where I’d been trying to help Hiiro jumper the mainframe so we could get a look at the base programming when he suddenly decided he’d rather be somewhere else. “A few chip bags are hardly a reason to just snap and walk away in the middle of a job,” I reasoned munching on a rather chewy and very cold fry. </p>
<p>“Duo,” Quatre said in a tone of voice that made me look at him curiously. The smirk, light blush and inadvertent flick of his eyes informed me in his modestly insistent way that my shirt was riding up. I’m not what you’d call body shy, but since he and Trowa were obviously distracted by the male physic I pulled it back into place. </p>
<p>“Shit,” I resigned swallowing the last of my chewy fries. “Guess this job’s a bust.” There was no way I could finish without Hiiro, so I rolled over and got up scattering the crumpled papers from my impromptu lunch, loose tools and a circuit board I had forgotten I had laying on my chest across the deck. </p>
<p>“You’re not planning on leaving that mess?” Wufei questioned skeptically. </p>
<p>“Why should I put it all away just to take it back out again in the morning?” I reasoned though I did pick up the lunch trash. Dried up ketchup tends to draw ants. </p>
<p>“I suppose it is getting late,” Quatre sighed shaking his head at me while he put his tools away. </p>
<p>“You want a ride home?” Trowa asked me assisting his lover. </p>
<p>“Naw,” I declined. “I brought the bike,” I explained taking a three point shot at the wastebasket down below. </p>
<p>“Duo,” Wufei groused impatiently, but the ball of paper never even touched the rim. </p>
<p>“Nothing but net!” I grinned before taking my leave. </p>
<p>It was pretty late. The moisture in the wind reminded me of that as I cut through the air on my bike. Hiiro had helped me tweak it until it was capable of speeds well above the legal limitations and I’m afraid I’ve never been very good at following the rules. It is a very self-empowering feeling to race along an empty stretch of highway in the middle of the night so fast the light poles look like vertical blinds. I was still feeling the rush when I opened the door to our apartment and saw Hiiro’s bag sitting by the door. The sight brought me crashing down off the adrenalin high real quick. What the hell?</p>
<p>“Hiiro?” I called tentatively dropping my keys in my helmet and my helmet in the first chair I passed. He didn’t answer, but I found him in his room anyway. Packing another bag. It kind of made me sick to my stomach to see him moving his things from the drawer to the suitcase. “Hey, man,” I said trying for casual and managing desperately confused instead. “Are you going on assignment?” I asked hoping I’d receive the usual grunt of affirmation, but I could tell by the way he paused without looking at me it wasn’t going to happen. I think that’s when I started feeling sick, but my chest was hurting so bad I couldn’t be sure. </p>
<p>“I think I should move out,” he finally said and suddenly my body couldn’t decide if it wanted to go ahead and throw up or beat some sense into him. </p>
<p>“What?!” is what came out of my mouth. It was better than vomit I suppose, but not by much. </p>
<p>“I just can’t do this anymore,” he told me softly and the resignation in the tone of his voice just about suffocated me. </p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” I began hoping I didn’t sound as freaked as I felt. He had said ‘think’ however, and my mind was clinging to the proposed chance to change his mind with all it had. “How...? I mean...Why?” I needed to sit down. It never failed, I could face down legions of mobile suits without breaking a sweat, but the thought of life without Hiiro nearby just freaking terrified me. “Is this because of what happened at work?” I asked searching for an explanation. It just didn’t make any sense. We hadn’t even fought, he just snipped at me and walked out, then it hit me. “Oh man! You’re not serious!?” I exclaimed while he stood there quietly staring into his half empty drawer of neatly folded shirts. “Does it bother you that much?” He finally turned to look at me with this wondering expression as if he didn’t get what I was saying. “If it’s that much of a problem I can take care of it,” I bargained.  </p>
<p>“Duo,” he began, but I couldn’t stop my mouth from trying to fix it. I couldn’t believe he’d actually move out over a few mislaid clothes or some hair in the shower drain, but I’d be damned if I couldn’t adjust my living style to accommodate him if it meant his leaving. </p>
<p>“Naw, man, it’s no big deal,” I smiled moving in a direction that assumed he’d changed his mind. “I’ll get started on it right now,” I smiled heading for the living room and my discarded helmet and keys. He didn’t call me back, but chose to follow me curiously, so I made a show of it pulling my gloves off and tossing them in my helmet as well. I sat it all on the bar stool by the kitchen counter while I took off my coat and hung it on the coat rack next to Hiiro’s instead of dropping it in its usual place on the back of the couch. I could do this. No sweat. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” he asked folding his arms and leaning against the entryway to the hall. </p>
<p>“Cleaning,” I smiled. “I’ll straighten up the work space tomorrow, too,” I told him making a note to wipe his tools off before returning them this time. Nothing in his toolbox looked as if it had ever been used. I found it a little disturbing actually.</p>
<p>“Why?” was his next question. </p>
<p>“Well, it obviously bothers you that I haven’t been keeping up my end of it,” I shrugged. “All you had to do was say something, you know?” I told him feeling a little irritated that he’d prefer packing to talking to me about it first.  He just stood there for a long moment watching me while I went about putting away the dishes he’d left in the drainer. I was starting to feel uncomfortable under his gaze before he finally spoke and stopped me dead in my tracks. </p>
<p>“I don’t care about the mess.” </p>
<p>Well, shit. I was back to needing a paper bag to breathe into all of a sudden. “Then…why?” slipped from my lips while my fingers clamped down on the plate in my hand. </p>
<p>He stood and stared at me thoughtfully for a very long time. I was really wishing he’d just get to the damn point, but when he did I was suddenly wishing he’d taken his time. My mind went totally blank, my entire world a stark white canvas while the words, “I love you,” fell from his lips and the plate fell from my hands. I never heard it hit the floor. I couldn’t hear anything other than Hiiro. I couldn’t see or feel anything but him. For just that one instant nothing else existed, then he was speaking again and it all came on again in a blinding rush of life. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t the mess that upset me,” he was saying while he strolled across the floor toward me. “I wasn’t angry with you,” he went on coming to stand before me and for a moment I thought for sure my heart was going to split my breast plate it was beating so hard. I almost crawled up on the counter behind me in an attempt to put more distance between us so I could breathe when he reached out toward me. “I was angry with myself,” he said slowly as his eyes traveled down my midsection and I swear to all the gods in heaven I felt them touch me. I shuddered and he paused with his fingers just above the hem of my shirt for a moment before taking hold of it and slowly lifting it up. I swallowed hard watching the blatant desire blossom in those dark, blue eyes while he gazed at the flesh of my stomach as it was slowly revealed. “This is why I snapped at you,” he told me and I actually jumped when his eyes flicked up to meet mine. Somewhere in the turmoil that had once been my mind I recalled Quatre telling me to fix my shirt and suddenly realized what he was saying. </p>
<p>“You,” damn, I couldn’t speak my throat was so dry. “You could’ve told me to pull it down,” I choked. </p>
<p>“Then you would have known,” he said softly releasing my shirt and backing away. </p>
<p>“I know now,” I pointed out feeling much better since he was no longer in my personal space. </p>
<p>“That’s why I should leave,” he said turning away to return to his room and I thought my blood had frozen in my veins. </p>
<p>I really didn’t understand. My mind was telling me that he knew what he was saying. That he understood the implication of his claim, but my heart refused to believe it was that simple. He wanted me. I was sure of that. I’d felt it in his gaze and the big shocker was that it was seriously turning me on. However, there was no way in hell I was going to take a chance on messing things up between us. Hiiro is a sensitive and loving soul contrary to what those who do not know him think. Something like this could break him and set him back two years to when he wasn’t capable of holding a simple conversation without scowling. I couldn’t bear that, but watching him sit that last suitcase by the door wasn’t something I could live with. </p>
<p>“Or not,” I said at length. He stopped on his way back to his room to turn and look at me inquisitively. “You don’t have to leave,” I shrugged pulling myself together a little and leaning against the counter where he’d left me. </p>
<p>“I can’t do this anymore,” he told me in this even, sad little tone that sounded as tired as I was beginning to feel.</p>
<p>“Look,” I reasoned. “You’re not going anywhere tonight right? Just sit down and I’ll make some tea and we can talk, okay?” He couldn’t argue with that, right? Hm…wrong. </p>
<p>“I can’t stay here!” he suddenly snapped reigning in his frustration at the last moment and plopping down on the couch. I was shocked. I’d never known him to loose control that way before. Sure, he’s snapped, yelled, blow stuff to smithereens even, but the uncertainty in his tone, the helplessness in his body language was astounding. Hiiro just wasn’t the type for frustrated confusion. “Just...being around you...” Fumbling for words was a new one, too. I didn’t care for it. </p>
<p>“Hey, it’s okay,” I soothed unsure of my ground. I’m his friend, his partner and apparently the object of his desire. It left me a little unbalanced as to what role I was supposed to take in my attempt to comfort. </p>
<p>“No. It’s not,” he sighed closing his eyes and laying back while I took the seat next to him. </p>
<p>“Sure it is,” I countered trying to lighten things up a little. “Hey, man. If we can bring world peace to mankind I think we can work through this one,” I chuckled and was gratified to gain a small smile from him, but it faded quickly. </p>
<p>He was quiet again for a moment, then threw me even more off balance when he softly whispered, “Dew moistened violets.”</p>
<p>“What?” I chuckled and he cracked an eye at me. </p>
<p>“Your scent,” he explained bringing a heat to my cheeks that had to be very amusing because he chuckled at me, but then his eyes grew very soft and I couldn’t breathe again. “I always though it was very appropriate,” he commented. </p>
<p>“Weird is what it is,” I countered. “My shampoos coconut milk and apricot,” </p>
<p>“It’s not the shampoo I smell,” he smiled and my mind just went totally blank again for a minute. I didn’t get a chance to fully recover before he spoke again. “I’m sorry,” he offered sitting up straight so he could turn to face me. “It’s just hard being here,” he confessed. “It’s driving me crazy being this close to you and not being able to...” he let that thought die still born. </p>
<p>“You know, you could have told me,” I pointed out. “It’s not like I’m going to run screaming or something. We’re best friends,” I reminded him. “We’ll work it out,” I smiled, but he didn’t look very reassured. </p>
<p>“I want to touch you,” he whispered so softly I knew he wasn’t really talking to me. It was apparent in the way his eyes had drifted shut and it sent a shivering charge through me that had me seriously questioning my sexuality. I’ll admit I find guys attractive, especially guys that look like Hiiro, but I’ve always considered myself het. I prefer women, or at least, I thought I did until he started this shit. </p>
<p>“What’s it like?” I asked before I could extinguish the heat that had fried my good sense. </p>
<p>“What?” he asked tiredly leaning back into the arm of the couch. </p>
<p>“Nothing,” I replied quickly hoping he’d just let it go. </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” he said confirming that he had indeed understood the question and wasn’t going to cut me any slack over it. “You’ve never let me,” he chuckled lightening what was quickly becoming a very embarrassing moment for me. </p>
<p>“You’ve never asked,” fell from my lips and I wanted to strangle myself right then and there! What in the hell was I saying!? Where it was true I was irritated with him for keeping something like that a secret for so long he was ready to abandon me without my ever knowing; this thread of conversation was starting to imply something entirely different! The implication definitely intrigued him. </p>
<p>“And if I did?” he asked hopefully. </p>
<p>My heart was hammering again while he moved unconsciously closer, but my traitorous mouth appeared to be on autopilot. “I...don’t know,” rose in my throat and I got to watch Hiiro’s face light up, then suddenly he was WAY too close!</p>
<p>“Duo?” he breathed not two frigging inches from my face. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t make myself lift my eyes and acknowledge his presence so near to something I just wasn’t so sure about. It hit me in that moment that I wanted to know. I wanted to see what it felt like to be kissed by him, to feel his arms around me. The thought ignited a fire inside me I had not expected and it frightened me a little. More terrifying yet was the possibility that I wouldn’t like it. That I couldn’t give him what he wanted and it would all end up just being some cruel experiment that would cost me the most important friendship I’d ever known. “Duo?” he said again, his tone sounding as uncertain and frightened as I felt. </p>
<p>“I’m scared,” I whispered what turned out to be two of the hardest words I’d ever forced past my lips. </p>
<p>“Of what?” he asked backing off a little, but I was acutely aware of my hand resting in his. It was a very odd sensation because in all the time I’ve known him I can probably count the number of times he’s touched me on one hand. I had to wonder if his feelings for me were the reason why. </p>
<p>“Loosing you,” I replied honestly finally finding the courage to look into his eyes. What I saw there was steadfast and true and served to calm my frazzled nerves considerably. “I really don’t think I swing that way,” I confessed, but his gaze never faltered. It gave me the strength to press on. “I don’t want to hurt you.”</p>
<p>“I know that,” he smiled stroking his thumb over the back of my hand. It was very soothing and helped me not face vault in light of his unwavering faith in me. I expected him to say more, but he just kept sitting there until the smile just looked damned silly on his face </p>
<p>“What?” I asked defensively. </p>
<p>“Your thinking about it,” he grinned and ‘thoom!’ It was like someone dropped napalm on my cheeks. </p>
<p>“I was...I mean...It’s not like…” The son of a bitch was laughing at me. “You’re the one who started this shit!” I growled sulkily. </p>
<p>“You’re so damn cute when you pout,” he grinned unrepentantly. </p>
<p>“Stop being so damned happy,” I grumbled. “It’s creeping me out.” Why in the hell hadn’t I just locked him in his room?</p>
<p>“May I kiss you?” he asked robbing me of my higher brain functions again. I just sat there and blinked at him for what felt like an absurdly long time. “You were curious,” he reminded me oh so helpfully. </p>
<p>“You mean like ‘kiss your date’ kiss me?” I asked just to make sure I fully understood and he nodded still shining that stupid, dopey grin at me. “I dunno, man,” I replied on a huge exhale of breath. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea just yet.”</p>
<p>“Yet?” he jumped on that one like a rabid raccoon on crack. It left me feeling a little giddy to think he wanted it that bad. </p>
<p>“Yet,” I repeated firmly chuckling while I pushed him back a little since he was invading my personal space again. </p>
<p>“I can work with that,” he smiled resigning to a more comfortable distance. </p>
<p>“So,” I breathed signaling an end to our very strange and potentially life changing conversation. “You want some help unpacking?” I grinned taking at least some satisfaction in the fact that I had won on that point at least. </p>
<p>He smiled and nodded and we proceeded to tuck him back into his room. Happily the conversation turned to more mundane things like the aborted, hardwire patch he’d walked out in the middle of. I decided that I would attempt to be a little more organized just on the grounds that I knew it bothered him more than he was letting on. It was pushing three in the morning by the time our tongues grew tired and I headed to the bathroom to do my nightly ritual. It was a little odd to find Hiiro standing by my bedroom door when I came out with that stupid, dopey grin on his face again. </p>
<p>“You okay?” I chuckled drying my face while I headed for my door. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he said just as I was passing by him and when I turned to reply I suddenly found myself being kissed. </p>
<p>My first reaction was to break his damn arm, but that impulse fled screaming into the night when the huge monstrosity that was apparently my sex drive kicked in and reared its mammoth head. I whimpered when his arms slipped around my waste and I swear to god it was like having spring come on all at once and suddenly all I wanted was for him to never stop. We stumbled backward as the heat intensified and my back found the wall, then he was there, pressing against me, invading my mouth, cultivating a flame inside me I could only relate in intensity to battle rage. There was no doubt left in my mind. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly it made my lungs burn and my toes curl up. I honestly believe I would have given in to whatever he asked at that point, but just about the time I was wondering how fast we could make it to my bed he was pulling away. I could physically see his will strain against his desire and it took every ounce of strength I possess to keep from snatching him back. Well, that answered that question. I couldn’t believe how damp my skin was, how my body tingled all over from the rush of just one kiss. </p>
<p>“G…,” he had to stop and swallow while he continued to force himself away from my still breathless body. “Goodnight,” he choked feeding my ego and my desire to give him what he wanted. But could I? Did I really even understand what he was asking? </p>
<p>“Goodnight,” I nodded dazedly earning me an affectionate chuckle and touch of his fingers on my cheek before he retired. </p>
<p>I couldn’t stop the lightheaded feeling the night’s revelations had afforded when I crawled into my bed. Everything suddenly seemed brighter somehow, more colorful in some way. I’d heard people talk of such things, but it was oddly satisfying to experience it for myself. At least until I got to thinking about that kiss and my body reminded me that it was seriously pissed I hadn’t done more to satiate it. So, I coddled my extra pillow while I grinned at absolutely nothing at all. Hiiro was in love with me. I definitely found him attractive and he was the single most important person in my life. I was having a really hard time finding a downside to all of this. I closed my eyes and resigned myself to what little sleep I was going to get welcoming both the idea of waking up in a world where Hiiro and I would potentially be together forever and the prospect of some hellaciously wet dreams. </p>
<p>Dawn smelled different somehow. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but it was a pleasant scent mingled in with the usual flavors of the morning. Hiiro was cooking breakfast like he always did since he gets up at the insane hour of five a.m. However, we don’t punch a time clock in our line of work, so I say why not relax and ease out of it? Let the sun come up. Stretch out the kinks. Grin like a frigging moron at the memory of warm lips and flushed cheeks. Geez. I decided to hit the shower before I faced him and see if I could at least compose a decent state of mind.</p>
<p>I took my time since his early start had forced my early start and I needed some time to think about what we’d said to each other. <i>I love you</i>. The words rang in my memory reverberating off my skull and leaving me with that stupid grin on my face, so I washed my hair again and spent some time with the conditioner and a fat bristled brush. The truth was I was stalling. As clear as his words were in my mind I couldn’t help considering the fact that he’d kept his feelings a secret for a very long time. How he was going to react the morning after his confession left me with visions of trapped wolves and gnawed legs. What if he wasn’t as ready to face all this today as he was last night when frustration was the root of his determination? There was always myself to consider as well. Yeah, I couldn’t wipe the slap happy grin off my face whenever I thought about the heat in that kiss, but I’m not stupid. What Hiiro wanted was a lot more than a kiss both physically and emotionally. A lot more. </p>
<p>I love him don’t get me wrong. I always have it’s just that in the past that love was allowed to flourish and grow unhindered by the awkwardness of an physical relationship. That thought made me stop in the middle of weaving my braid. Yep. He definitely wanted more than a kiss. The implications were mind-boggling. He said he wanted to touch me and I understood exactly what he meant. It kind of took my breath away to think about it, but if he wanted to touch me, then there was little doubt that he wanted me to touch him in return. Touch another guy. Down there. Um...shit. It was time to face the music before I totally creeped myself out. </p>
<p>“Mor...ning?” I sort of smiled stepping into what used to be our kitchen. No wonder the aroma woke me. He must have been cooking for hours. There were pancakes and eggs, sausage and homemade biscuits. Some sort of light cream gravy in a bowl on the counter beside stacks of toast, hot buttered grits and fresh strawberries. There was enough food to feed us for a month and he was pulling a friggin quiche out of the oven! “What are you doing?” I deadpanned unable to generate any other suitable reaction. </p>
<p>“I have no idea,” he sighed setting the quiche down next to what I recognized to be steak and eggs skillet style hash browns. </p>
<p>“Well, you better quit it or we’re both going to need a girdle,” I chuckled dipping my finger in the whipped cream on top of some of the pancakes to taste. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?” he asked making me realize he was probably as worried about me as I was about him. </p>
<p>“Nothing a little Eggs Benedict won’t cure,” I grinned earning myself this really adorable, little nervous smile that I had never seen before. It kind of made me want to...well...never mind. Once the pleasant shock of the moment wore off I realized he had to be pretty out of synch to be acting like that. It made me wonder just how much of him he had been hiding from me in his efforts to keep his little secret. </p>
<p>“What are we going to do with all this food?” he chuckled easing the tension a little. </p>
<p>“Let’s take it with us,” I suggested. </p>
<p>“We could freeze some of it,” he offered getting down some Tupperware. </p>
<p>“Frozen eggs?” I grimaced. “No thanks. It’ll be gone in half an hour once the guys get a hold of it,” I chuckled getting the cellophane wrap from under the sink. </p>
<p>He got quiet then while we wrapped and packaged the fruits of his frustration. At first I didn’t think much of it, but after a couple of minutes the silence started to get heavy and I found myself counting the seconds between my own breaths. It’s an old habit from a time when shallow breathing and utter silence was a survival technique. I still catch myself doing it when I’m feeling threatened or uncomfortable for some reason and Hiiro’s presence was suddenly standing my little hairs on end. It wasn’t fear I was feeing though. I could feel his eyes not watching me. The way he stayed just out of reach never brushing against me, carefully holding himself at a safe distance. It was something he had always done, but now that I knew why it was driving me fucking nuts! This was just the type of thing I’d been afraid of and it frightened me all over again. </p>
<p>“Hiiro,” I sighed intent on defusing the situation, but when I turned to face him the expression in his eyes sucked all the air out of my lungs and suddenly I couldn’t recall what I was about to say. </p>
<p>“Duo,” he breathed in a tone I never thought I’d hear from him in a million years. It simmered with desire, a blatant need that was mirrored in his eyes and I couldn’t believe I’d never picked up on it before. </p>
<p>“We should,” I began searching for the rest of the words in the boiling heat that was quickly frying my brain. </p>
<p>“Go,” he supplied, but he was moving toward me not the door. </p>
<p>“Hiiro?” I choked backing against the counter. My heart was thundering so hard I could feel it in my temples. </p>
<p>“Just one,” he whispered drowning me in a sea of impassioned blue. I was dizzy and searching for a hand hold on reality while my mind snatched frantically for something intelligent to say. </p>
<p>“I really don’t think…,” was all I managed before he swooped in and all conscious thought went fluttering right out the window.</p>
<p>It was so embarrassing. All I could do was stand there shivering in his arms and groan while he proceeded to do a very nice job of turning my kneecaps to jam. He paused long enough to whisper something that sounded remotely like my name, then redoubled his efforts and I found myself sitting on the counter after all. Only instead of the safe haven I had thought to make it; it became the means of my imprisonment. I hissed his name arching back when his mouth demanded access to my neck. It was totally amazing how high he made me with just the touch of his hands; that burning desire in his kiss. I was lost to him long before he ever popped the button on my jeans, then suddenly I wanted him to touch me so badly it was all I could do to stop myself from ripping my own clothes off. It felt so damn good. I couldn’t stop. I wanted to feel him, taste him, know the inner secrets of his soul and it might have happened right there on the kitchen counter if his fingers hadn’t suddenly brushed across a portion of my anatomy that was never meant to be touched my another human being. The intensity of the sensation reminded me rather poignantly of what <i>he</i> wanted to do to <i>me</i> and I’m afraid I gasped and came right off the counter. </p>
<p>“Sorry!” he panted looking for all the world like he’d just seen a ghost. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I nodded uncomfortably righting my jeans and brushing my damp bangs back into place. “I just...”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he repeated. </p>
<p>“You surprised me,” I explained. </p>
<p>“I know,” he replied. Gods he looked like he’d kicked someone’s kitten. “I shouldn’t have rushed it.” </p>
<p>“It’s not like I didn’t like it,” I soothed and I’ll be damned if the SOB didn’t laugh. “We need to slow this train down a little,” I told him which served to sober him up real quick. He didn’t seem to have a response to that and nodded his reply. “Come on,” I sighed wondering when that kitten had wandered across my path. “I do like it,” I smiled. He returned it and I think we both felt a little better. “I just don’t want to mess this up you know? You’re important to me,” I confessed. It wasn’t the <i>`I love you’</i> he had gifted me with, but it was honestly how I felt. For what it was worth it served to satisfy and calm him. </p>
<p>Things between us reverted back to something a little more amiable once we got into our usual morning routine. He took his shower while I loaded the food into his car. I offered to drive, but he refused to get in my roadster. This time it was, “Half your wardrobe is in the backseat,” but the truth was I just hadn’t made it to the laundry yet that week. He had a point though, because there wasn’t anywhere to put the food that didn’t involve a pair of my boxer shorts, so we just took his car. </p>
<p>The guys were more than a little happy to help us with the over abundant breakfast fare. I’ve never been comfortable with lying, but it was easy enough to let them believe we were just being spontaneous. I caught Quatre staring at me more than once though, and knew there would be no keeping it quiet for long. Wufei was giving Hiiro the eye as well, but I couldn’t blame him. Even I noticed the oddities in Hiiro’s behavior and I was just about as out to lunch as he was. I thought Trowa was going to bust a nut when my usually grumpy partner tossed a strawberry at him in retaliation of a comic defense in Quatre’s favor. I can’t help it. I love to see him blush so my Arabian friend is usually found on the receiving end of most of my more colorful jokes, but I had never gotten the laugh Hiiro did when he beaned Trowa in the noggin with his half eaten fruit. The inclination towards a protective tendency for me left me feeling giddy and more than a little embarrassed when Quatre grinned at me. He had me cornered by lunch. </p>
<p>“What in the world has gotten into Hiiro?” he smiled. He looked so happy to see Hiiro happy it was a little disturbing. </p>
<p>‘What’dya mean?” I teased turning on the water in the sink to wash my hands. </p>
<p>“You know exactly what I mean!” he grumbled doing the same though I don’t think he actually used the facilities. “He’s positively glowing. What happened?” he asked watching me out of the corner of his eye like he might see something he wouldn’t hear. </p>
<p>“Nothing,” I shrugged, then laughed while I was beat with a wet paper towel. “Okay, okay!” I giggled wrestling my jubilant assailant back. “Geez! Back off! We just made up that’s all!” I told him. </p>
<p>“How’d you make up?” he grinned waggling his eyebrows.  </p>
<p>“You are an evil little shit,” I chuckled reaching for a towel. </p>
<p>“He told you didn’t he?” he beamed and I stopped to wonder just how much he knew about my partner’s feelings. </p>
<p>“Told me what?” I asked suspiciously. </p>
<p>“You know what!” he grumbled. “It’s written all over your face and he’s thrumming like a live wire,” he laughed. I shrugged, but I couldn’t help the huge grin on my face. “Oh, Duo,” he suddenly beamed. “I’m so happy for you both.” Man, I thought he just might cry. </p>
<p>“Don’t go buying the rice just yet,” I warned. “I’m not really sure things are going to turn out the way your hoping.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t turn him down!?” he gasped.</p>
<p>“Well, I...” I started, but his sudden grasping of my shirt startled the hell out of me and a second later I was being inspected from ear to ear. </p>
<p>“You haven’t slept with him,” he surmised. </p>
<p>“NO!” I barked retrieving both my shirt collar and my personal space. “Hell, no! What in the hell’re you talking about? He only just told me last night!”</p>
<p>“Then he did tell you,” he repeated triumphantly. Okay, he had me there. </p>
<p>“Crafty,” I chuckled knowing I’d been bested in the tactical arena once again. </p>
<p>He just stood there grinning at me, then all of a sudden he got this serious look in his eyes and said, “Don’t be scared.”</p>
<p>For a very long moment I had no idea what he was talking about, then he raised one pale eyebrow and I felt that napalm hit my cheeks again. “Geez, Quat! We only talked!”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t hurt if you do it right,” he smiled. </p>
<p>“Oh, fuck no!” I grumbled tossing my towel in the can and heading for the nearest exit. </p>
<p>“Really, Duo!” he enthused chasing me. </p>
<p>“I am not having this conversation,” I told him fleeing to the relative safety of our common workspace where he was forced to relent. </p>
<p>He kept staring at me all afternoon though. A fact that had Trowa whispering in his ear after awhile, then he was staring and smirking as well. Wufei did his usual ‘if I don’t look at it, it doesn’t exist’ routine and Hiiro just seemed completely oblivious because he was way too busy flirting with me when he thought no one was watching to notice everyone was watching. It was a pretty sure bet everyone knew where we stood by the end of the day. I was still trying to figure out just how I felt about that when we walked in our apartment and I found myself pinned up against the entryway wall. </p>
<p>“Don’t,” erupted gently from my throat in a soft tone that put an instant stop to his advance. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he questioned worriedly backing away. </p>
<p>“It’s all just moving too fast,” I told him. </p>
<p>The conversation with Quatre had brought it home for me. What he wanted to do to me just was not a natural way for the body to behave. There was nothing about it that my mind could phantom would be pleasurable. Okay, so Quat apparently enjoyed himself, but I always kind of figured he got off on pleasing Trowa. I’m afraid I just didn’t think I could be that selfless in bed without resenting it later. </p>
<p>“Alright,” he replied regrouping. “You want anything special for dinner?” he asked turning to more familiar subject matter. </p>
<p>“No.” </p>
<p>I was grateful for the common ground, but all this was still nagging at me. I had everything I wanted really. Hiiro was there and he loved me. I had the best partner and team on the face of the planet and a job that fed our overactive need for excitement. The thing was I was also living with the sexiest man alive and couldn’t bring myself to accept a physical relationship with him. I sighed and made a salad while he grilled us some steaks and we went over the smugglers data we had pulled from the scavenger ship. After dinner he made us some popcorn and we settled in to watch a movie, but I couldn’t get into it. My mind just kept reverting back to that morning when he had had me caged against the counter and every cell in my body vibrated with fiery light. </p>
<p>“Maybe,” I began while the swamp thing carried his lady off into the mire, “If we just...started slow?” I saw Hiiro tense and was aware of the careful control in his movements when he set the bowl of popcorn on the table and turned to face me. </p>
<p>“How slow?” he asked evenly and I almost wanted to laugh. He was just so cute sitting there masking his anxiety. It was a real thrill to know that desire was aimed at me. </p>
<p>“Can we keep our clothes on for awhile?” I asked tentatively. </p>
<p>“Anything you want,” he breathed moving closer and my heart rate doubled. Oh gods, what did I do? He paused because I imagine I must’ve looked like a rabbit in a floodlight. “Duo?”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” I kind of chuckled/breathed wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. </p>
<p>“We don’t have to do this,” he told me. </p>
<p>“No,” I sighed. “I want to its just...I need to take it slow, okay?” Real slow. Like so slow my body doesn’t realize what’s happening until its too late slow. Butt slow. HA HA HA HA!! Okay...keep it together Maxwell. </p>
<p>“I love you, Duo,” he smiled reaching out to touch my cheek. </p>
<p>It was amazing how that one small gesture smoothed over the rough edges of my hesitancy. I even managed to smile for him while he moved closer and kissed me. It wasn’t anything like before though. It was warm and soft and made me feel like I’d been wrapped in a big, warm blanket. It melted me just the same, but in an entirely different way and before I realized it the movie was over and it was an hour and a half later. </p>
<p>“Hiiro,” I breathed between lazy kisses. Gods, he felt so damn good lying on top of me. He had pushed me down into the couch at some point and we’d spent the evening memorizing things about each other no other activity could have shown us. </p>
<p>“Hn?” he replied nibbling at my ear. </p>
<p>“It’s late,” I smiled though made no attempt to move. </p>
<p>“Hn,” he grunted and when I laughed he chuckled along with me. Then he was kissing me again and I lost track until the alarm on the watch that was lost in my room went off signaling the first hour of he new day. It was one of those times I really could have kicked myself for not having found the stupid thing sooner and shutting it off. </p>
<p>“We should get some sleep,” I sighed. </p>
<p>“Sleep with me,” he whispered and <i><b>‘thoom!’</b></i>, I was fighting off a full blow panic attack. “Relax,” he chortled easing my anxiety with a gentle kiss. “I meant sleep, that’s all.” He is so amazing. Just looking at him gave me a sense of wonder and I realized I had never taken the opportunity to really just look at him like that before. </p>
<p>I smiled and nodded and he took us to bed; his bed because it was a double. I usually sleep in my boxers, but that night I wore a t-shirt as well. He followed my lead and I felt pretty calm when we piled in together until he rolled over and wrapped me up in his arms. It was a very strange feeling, kind of safe and intrusive at the same time. I’ve slept alone for a very long time, but this was Hiiro. I trusted him and soon relaxed in his embrace. I suppose he must have been waiting for it because the moment I did he kissed me gently. I could feel the smile on his lips, then he was snuggled up to my back and I felt warmer and more comfortable than I ever have. I drifted off to sleep that night smiling at the memory of tender kisses and gentle caresses in the arms of a man who claimed to love me with all his heart. Not something I had ever thought would happen to me, but I have to admit...it wasn’t half bad.</p>
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<p>Ch 3</p>
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<p>Mmmmm, yeah. Three weeks in his bed and I couldn’t remember what it was like to have ever slept alone. I didn’t want to either. For a guy who’s never even had a teddy bear Hiiro is a very comfortable bed mate. At first, I thought his insistence on clinging to me all night would become oppressive, but as time wore on and we started to get used to each other’s presence I missed it when he did roll away. I usually found myself seeking him out on those occasions and we ended up cocooned together in the sheets anyway. He’s terribly warm; all muscle and satiny skin. You would think he would be hard and unyielding, but he molds to me like a second skin. It’s a very pleasant way to wake up in the morning even if he does get up before dawn. </p>
<p>However, this particular morning I rose from the depths of a deep, soundless sleep with the most delicious heat stirring inside me. It wasn’t the first time having him snuggled in beside me had prompted an erotic dream, but as of yet he had not pushed the subject of our blossoming intimacy. We spent our days flirting with each other much to the delight of our friends, and our evenings cuddled up or making out, but he hadn’t tried to force the issue of deepening our bond. As much as I enjoyed the kissing and cuddling I just couldn’t image what it would really be like to hold another guys...personal anatomy in my hand. Gods, just thinking it felt weird! It wasn’t like it grossed me out or anything it’s just that it was uncharted territory. What if I messed it up? What if I didn’t enjoy it? I really didn’t think I would get off on it if I knew the person touching me wasn’t getting anything out of it. I didn’t think Hiiro would either so we were still taking it slow. </p>
<p>It was oddly alarming to slowly realize the tenderness Hiiro was bestowing upon me in my dream wasn’t fading with the coming of consciousness. Indeed, it intensified ten fold when I felt the reality of his touch firmly stoking the flames inside me. I groaned for lack of the ability to speak because he was kissing me gently; a deep, rolling sort of thing that quickly melted my stomach to my spine. His lips were so warm and attentive; his body softly moving beside me; his hand...shit! </p>
<p>“Hiiro!” I gasped too late to deny that I was highly aroused. My hand seized his wrist in a half ass effort to remove the strangely erotic sensation of having another guy touching me. </p>
<p>“Shh,” he hissed quietly in my ear and the warm moisture of his breath sent waves of pure delight over my skin. I was familiar with the feeling, but with the added sensations down below it was like someone had just flipped on the flood lights. I groaned, then buried my head back into my pillow when Hiiro tightened his grip. <i>Son of a bitch!</i> What the guy could do with his fingers was just freaking amazing! We won’t even get into the palm action, but he had me writhing in a steamy puddle before I could clear the sleep from my eyes. </p>
<p>I did not last long. In what was a mortifyingly short time I found the edge of oblivion and cried Hiiro’s name while he relentlessly pushed me over. It wasn’t until the stars stopped dancing in my vision and I managed to stop gulping for air like a docked fish that I saw the sweat beaded on his forehead. It hit me like a ton of bricks that he was really into it. He was seriously turned on by what he’d done to me and I tensed suddenly horrorstruck by the idea that he might expect me to return the favor. I was not ready to go there. Not at all, but the sated expression glowing in his sloe, blue eyes replaced my apprehension with curiosity. A quick assessment of our mutual state of being while he kissed and nibbled at my still damp jaw and ear revealed that he had not left himself out of the fun. Somehow he’d brought us both off together which left me feeling oddly unsatisfied, but I was a little to hung up on grateful to think too hard on it. I really didn’t want to be a tease, but I was not comfortable with doing that to him. Hell, I wasn’t even sure how I felt about him doing it to me. I had to admit though, it felt damn good. I was still pondering my apprehension over the incident when his gravely voice cut through the thick crust of my thoughts. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?” he asked obviously moved by what had transpired between us, but I couldn’t help the laugh. </p>
<p>“For real?” I chuckled causing him to pull away and look at me strangely. “What was that?” I asked unable to fully mask my irritation. I had not freely consented and now that it was over I was left feeling just a little violated. I was sorry I said it before the words finished tumbling from my mouth. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” he began, but seemed to run out of words right about there. The temperature felt like it dropped ten degrees in that moment and I ended up pulling him down, albeit reluctantly, for a nice, slow apology. </p>
<p>“I’ll get over it,” I grinned releasing him. He seemed a lot better after that so I pressed on. “I just don’t get why now is all,” I shrugged trying to keep it light even though it was really kind of bugging me. </p>
<p>“I just,” he began in this adorably flustered way that made me want to kiss him and hold him tight. “You called to me,” he sighed hiding his face in my neck. “And you were groaning and clinging to me…”</p>
<p>“I was asleep,” I felt compelled to point out while my cheeks did a fair impression of a boiled lobster. </p>
<p>“I know,” he sighed snuggling up and holding me tight. “You’re always asleep and when you wake up...” he paused to reassess his words, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he offered again. </p>
<p>Well, didn’t I just feel like a first class shit heel? Here the guy had been putting up with me moaning and panting in my sleep for the past three weeks and when he finally gave in and did something about it I had to go and treat him like a masher. Way to go, Maxwell.</p>
<p>“Guess I’ve got the cock tease market cornered, huh?” I laughed squeezing him tight. He started to contradict me, but I was past it already. “I’m sorry,” I cut him off before he could get started. “I didn’t realize you knew about the dreams.”</p>
<p>“You moan,” he told me in this little boy voice that made me laugh out loud. “And you squirm,” he added nibbling my collarbone to demonstrate my squirming capabilities. </p>
<p>“Alright! Alright! I get it!” I laughed fighting to free myself of that iron grip of his. “I asked for it! Let up!!” and he did. </p>
<p>“Was it bad?” he asked suddenly serious and docile. I had to take a moment and catch my breath before I could answer.</p>
<p>“No,” I smiled and felt compelled to reach out and touch his face. No. It wasn’t bad at all. The smile that blossomed on him then was both beautiful and frightening all at once. </p>
<p>“Then maybe we can try something new?” he inquired kissing my neck while he slipped his hand under me, down my back and towards my…</p>
<p>“Hiiro!” I gasped and managed to jump clean out of the bed. </p>
<p>“Duo?” He was reaching for me, his eyes so scared, but I couldn’t deal with it. </p>
<p>“We’re going to be late,” I snipped and got my ass into the bathroom just as fast as my little Duo feet would carry me. What a fucking ass I am!! Could I have acted anymore like a total spaz?! Gods, I just wanted to punch my own face in the stupid mirror! Stupid! Damn it! The look on his face! The pain in his eyes! STUPID!</p>
<p>“Duo?” he called softly through the door and I ripped a piece of solid composure off what was left of my stability to answer. </p>
<p>“I’ll be out in a minute,” I replied as steady as any man that had once been a Gundam Pilot. I knew my voice sounded cold, but that was better than totally freaked! I suppose, looking back on it, freaked might not have gotten the door ripped off the hinges. “Hiiro!”</p>
<p>“Don’t lie to me,” he told me dropping what was left of our bathroom door on the floor. “I’m sorry,” he added and in two steps he had closed the distance between us and had me wrapped up so tight I could hardly breathe. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” I parroted. “I don’t know what …”</p>
<p>“I didn’t really mean….”</p>
<p>“It was just so sudden...”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,”</p>
<p>“I mean, I don’t even understand the logistics’...”</p>
<p>“Duo,” he chortled which served to shut me up. “It’s not a military operation,” he laughed pulling back to look at me even though I couldn’t lift my eyes to meet his. He wasn’t having any of it though, and gently encouraged me with a touch of his hand. “And it is not a contingency of my feelings for you,” he told me. I found myself mirroring the soft smile on his lips before he kissed me. “This is fine,” he smiled and I believed him. “I can’t help wanting you,” he amended proving that my face could actually get a little deeper red. “But this is fine,” he reiterated kissing me gently once again. </p>
<p>“I just feel...defective or something,” I sighed relaxing in his arms. </p>
<p>“You’re perfect,” he chuckled and kissed my hair affectionately before adding, “There’s no need to rush.”</p>
<p>He held me there for a time and I let him. It was nice and the truth was we didn’t really have to be anywhere anytime soon. I really don’t have a clue how long we stood there like that before I finally got enough brain cells working again to ask, “What the hell’re we going to do about the door?”</p>
<p>We ended up laughing it off while he teased me about running to hide and I reminded him it didn’t have a lock. I won, but we still had to trash the door and fix the jam before we could put a new one up. Those flimsy interior apartment doors sure don’t hold up against Hiiro’s raw power. He had splintered it in three pieces. </p>
<p>The work day consisted of a late breakfast with the guys in which I was forced to endure Quatre’s knowing grin, then we were off to transport a maximum security prisoner from county to Folesheth Prison. It isn’t a detail we would be called in for under normal circumstances, but the evidence found aboard the scavenger ship proved beyond the shadow of a doubt he was on the top ten most wanted list. We found everything from logs on drug laundering to child slavery in the hidden files aboard his ship. I couldn’t wait to see the look on the piece of shit’s face when he saw five teenage boys were to be his security detail. </p>
<p>Predictably, he was looking pretty smug about it when we arrived. At least until he got a look at Hiiro and sulled up most satisfactorily. It was Hiiro who had brought him down in the first place and he was still wearing the cast on his left forearm to prove it. Quatre told him what was expected of him while Trowa cuffed him. Hiiro and Wufei did their part with the intimidating scowls and me? I just smiled and waited. I was really hoping the asshole would try something so I could break his other arm. </p>
<p>Regretfully, he was a good boy for most of the trip. The distance wasn’t far, ten miles by car and a short hop by plane into the mountains. From there it was only a small distance walk to the prison gates. I was more than a little disgruntled by his lack of resistance as we made our way down the winding trail on the mountainside when his demeanor suddenly changed. I should have known the sleazebag wouldn’t disappoint. </p>
<p>“Yer in the wrong business, kid,” he grinned looking me up and down. “Fine looking thing like you could make a cool million a year in my trade,” and Hiiro punched him so hard he flew back three feet before he ever hit the ground. I’d have helped pick him up, but I was laughing too damn hard to catch my breath! Hell, even Wufei was ginning! It took him a good five minutes to recover enough to try again. Good, he was nice and stupid. Let’s see what other damage we can do!</p>
<p>“You saw that huh, blondie?” he grumbled at Quatre who offered him a calculated glance. “You can tell’em,” he nodded grimacing while he adjusted his wrists. “Abusing a helpless man. It ain’t right,” he whined and I caught myself rolling my eyes in expectation of what he said next. “At least loosen these things up! They’re cuttin’ off my blood flow.” </p>
<p>Quatre was trying so hard to withhold the rouge grin I thought he was going to split an eyeball, but he managed it while he nodded to Trowa. Hiiro, Wufei and I absently drifted into flank positions while our tall friend stepped in and did as he was bid. The man made his move predictably, but he did manage to surprise us. We expected him to make a break for it, but instead he whirled and seized Trowa under the neck with the intention of using the cuffs as a weapon against his throat. He never got that far though, as the moment he saw his lover was in danger the seemingly docile blond crushed the guy’s toes by viciously stamping on them. He never even got a change to scream before Trowa’s elbow knocked the wind out of him and Quatre hauled off and broke his freaking nose! Trowa had to step in before his irate lover could finish the job soothing and calming him while Hiiro and Wufei picked the prisoner up off the ground again. Well, I hadn’t gotten to break his arm, but that was worth it! Man! Take his house, steel his wallet, even jack slap his maid, but do <b>not</b> fuck with Trowa! Quat’s been unreasonably sensitive to his lovers welfare ever since that Zero incident. </p>
<p>The remainder of the trip was uneventful. Trowa kept himself between his lover and our prisoner from that point on, but the death glare lingering in Quatre’s eyes was more than enough to subdue him. We didn’t hear anything more out of him until we reached the gate where he proceeded to whine to the guards that he was a victim of abuse and demanded to see the warden. When we were questioned about his bloody, broken state I simply grinned and told them...</p>
<p>“He fell down,” and that was pretty much that. They dragged him away and we returned to the airstrip. Trowa and Hiiro had us underway shortly after and I found myself sitting beside Quatre in the back of the plane while Wufei chatted with our respective lovers up front. It didn’t hit me until I looked over and saw that stupid little grin on his face that I had allowed myself to be caught in a situation I’d been desperately avoiding. I was alone with ‘Mr. I can see into your soul’.</p>
<p>“Don’t,” I chuckled before he could get the words past his lips. </p>
<p>“How far?” he just had to ask while that little smirk blossomed into a full blow grin. </p>
<p>“You’re a frigging voyeur,” I chuckled. </p>
<p>“Oh, come on!” he grumbled playfully glancing up front to make sure his voice was low enough. “You know I know!”</p>
<p>“You know all your going to know,” I grinned stubbornly. </p>
<p>“Isn’t it wonderful?” he sighed relaxing a little. I didn’t miss the dreamy glance he shot toward his lover in the cockpit nor the longing in his tone. It made me curious. </p>
<p>“You really,” man, how to put this, “enjoy yourself?” Shit. Flame on! Wonder if bbq’ed cheeks are a delicacy. Just about the time I thought my face couldn’t get any hotter he turned this decidedly evil little grin on me. </p>
<p>“Supremely,” he purred letting the pink tip of his tongue slip out and wet his lips and I swallowed really hard. The reaction changed his expression to one of mild shock. “You really haven’t done anything yet have you?” he asked incredulously. </p>
<p>“I...well, we…” Shit. Maybe my cheeks cooked my tongue. </p>
<p>He was looking straight at me with this awful, piteous light in his big blue/green eyes when he said, “Oh, poor Hiiro,” so I kind of didn’t get it for a second. </p>
<p>“What?” was the best I could do when it registered. </p>
<p>“He must be terribly frustrated,” he sighed turning his attention back to our teammates. “I couldn’t imagine having a lover like you and not being able to…” He seemed to suddenly realize what he was saying and stopped to offer me an apologetic look. “Don’t you want him?” he asked, but I was having a little trouble keeping up with the changes. </p>
<p>“Yeah, of course I do,” I replied defensively. “I mean...It’s just that...Aw, come on, Quat!” I finally grumbled. “<i>That</i> cannot feel good!”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes it can,” he countered instantly and absolutely. I was easily taken aback by his conviction. “Duo, Hiiro is a gentle and kind person,” he reasoned. “Do you honestly believe he would ask you to do something that he thought would cause you any harm?” he smiled and suddenly it all made sense. No, he wouldn’t. But then he wasn’t exactly offering himself up to me now was he? … Hmmmmmmmmm.</p>
<p>“Maybe you’re right,” I grinned. It never really occurred to me that the tables could be turned. I couldn’t help wondering how he would feel if I was the one trying to push <i>his</i>  knees apart. </p>
<p>“Duo?” Quatre was clearly confused by the new wave of emotions rolling off of me. It just might be time for a little game of goose and gander. I was suddenly very anxious to get home. </p>
<p>I did a lot of thinking on that trip and decided I’d better slow things down a little before I managed to really freak him out. He wanted a deeper commitment between us. The kind that can only be formed with the aid of physical ties, but I didn’t want it to become some sort of game anymore. The more I thought about it the more appealing the idea became. I liked the thought of holding him in that way and if he agreed to my solution I didn’t think I’d have much trouble seeing it through. As a matter of fact, I was quite intrigued by the image in my mind of him laying beneath me calling out my name. Umm...damn...where was I? Oh yeah. So anyway, it was the natural way for a guy to do it, right? He was the one who was full on gay, right? So he shouldn’t have any problem taking the underside, right? The only problem was, I had no clue how I was supposed to seduce a guy. </p>
<p>Hiiro obviously had no qualms with it as he attempted to do it to me practically every night in some form or another, but I was at a loss. Take him to dinner? A movie? A date? *sigh* It was a problem. I knew he wouldn’t turn me down if I just came onto him, but that wasn’t what I wanted and it was definitely less than he deserved. Once I worked it out I realized it wasn’t about his doing it because I asked him to; I wanted him to do it because he wanted to. I wanted him to ask for it. I wanted him to friggiing beg for it! Shit...um...So, I devised a little plan that I hoped would have him offering himself up to me on a silver platter before I was done and set to work. </p>
<p>Step 1: Make him happy. A happy person is a complacent person.  </p>
<p>“Hey,” I smiled walking lightly into our living room where he was typing up a report on our last job. He smiled in return and turned to look at me which was a behavior I was still getting used to since it had only started after his confession. “How’s it going?” I asked resting on the side of the desk where I could peek at his work. </p>
<p>“Almost finished,” he replied, then predictably pulled me in for a soft kiss. I expected it since he’s prone to do that anytime I get close enough, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it. </p>
<p>“Feel like taking the day off when you’re done?” I asked letting him scoot over between my legs so he could hug my hips. </p>
<p>“Hn,” he grunted in his affirmative way. I’ve learned a lot of things about him since we decided to try our luck with this relationship thing, one of which is his desire to just...coast. Before, during and until recently after the wars he never seemed to stop moving. He was always working on something or other, but now he reveled in laying his head in my lap and just breathing, which was just what he did. It made me smile to gaze down on his peaceful face and sent a thrill through me to know that it was his strong arms around my hips that had helped make it so. For a moment I sat and watched him in comfortable silence, his face so beautiful in the low light. His hair shimmers if you move side to side making the dark shadows beneath change and shift, then I felt the heat begin to stir. That heat that always simmers inside me whenever he’s around and its persistence was a gentle reminder that there was a reason I’d come in there. </p>
<p>“I thought maybe we could take the day off,” I suggested combing my fingers absently through his hair. </p>
<p>“Hmm,” he kind of half groaned half tried to convince himself to move. “What did you have in mind?” he asked forcing himself to sit up. </p>
<p>“The lake would be nice,” I smiled. He’s always had this thing about large bodies of water. Even during the war he seemed to end up at sea more often than not and he was still drawn to it. However, he best we had was Tern Lake. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but offered a decent sized puddle to do some day sailing in. There were also speed boat rentals for skiing and fishing, canoe’s for the adventurous minded individual and my personal favorite, hang gliding.</p>
<p>“Let me finish this up,” he replied with a nod. Good. Some play time would do us both good. “Why don’t you give the guys a call and have them meet us?” he suggested going back to his report. </p>
<p>“I was kind of looking forward to just spending some time with you,” I grinned and took my first step toward turning the tables by slipping my arms around him from behind and nibbling his neck. This was not something I had ever thought of myself doing to another guy. It is an aggressive move meant to coax a girl into a complacent mood. I just hoped it would work the same on Hiiro. From the way he groaned deep in his chest I’m pretty sure he was feeling the need. If there was any doubt the arm that snaked around my neck and the lips that were suddenly plastered to mine were a sure bet. I had to fight to free myself. </p>
<p>“Finish the report, Dr. Octo,” I laughed. “I’m going to go pack the car,” I told him leaving him with a huge smile and flushed cheeks. I had to wonder what the end of that report was going to look like. ‘We took him. We dropped him off. We came back.’ I could just see Une’s sour puss when she read that! </p>
<p>The cool thing about sailing is you can get half naked, wet, windblown and into dozens of complicated positions and no one will think your actually trying to show off. Another big plus is that I’m better at it than Hiiro is. I think it’s the unpredictability of the wind that throws him off. He’s much more suited to big engines and guns that do what he tells them to, but there’s not much sense in glaring at the breeze. So, I got to be captain for a day, which put me in control, right where I wanted to be and oh how sweet it was. Hiiro is remarkably good at following orders, especially ones he agrees with, so we soon found ourselves on our second lap around the lake and decided to stop in a little cove we just happened by for a swim. It had taken me two hours of recon to find the little niche on the satellite imagery at the office, but if things kept going the way they were it was going to be well worth it. </p>
<p>Whereas my significant other is not harmonically in tune with the wind he is astoundingly well suited to the water. I’ve seen him stay under for ungodly lengths of time, so it was no surprise when we went in the water together and I surfaced alone. Man, but it was a beautiful day. The water was cool against the hot rays of the sun, the sky so blue and the wind balmy and light. I let myself drift laying back to float in the lapping ripples and smiled to myself thinking about how the afternoon might turn out. Hiiro was almost silent when he finally surfaced beside me, so quiet in fact that I knew he was trying to surprise me and decided to play along with his game. My grin grew when I felt something smooth and cool settle in my navel and my curiosity got the better of me. </p>
<p>“A stone?” I questioned righting myself with the little offering in my palm. </p>
<p>“A rubbing stone,” he grinned treading water beside me. </p>
<p>Un huh. “A rubbing stone,” I echoed looking the thumb sized bit of polished blue/green over. </p>
<p>“Orca rub their bellies against them to clean their skin,” he grinned. </p>
<p>“Hiiro,” I rolled my eyes as we made our way to shore. “This is a fresh water lake. There are no killer whales in it,” I told him knowing full well he was already aware of that fact and was just jerking my chain. I got a better look at the smooth, almost teal colored stone once my feet found purchase on the sand and gazed curiously at it. “It looks like turquoise,” I commented. </p>
<p>“Jade,” he corrected drifting over to pluck it from my hand. “It’s a symbol of love and virtue,” he grinned slipping the stone into his mouth and his arm around my waist. I had just enough time to make a weird face before he was kissing me and rolling the thing around in our mouths. It was erotic to say the least. He would pass it to me letting the polished surface caress my lips and tongue, then suck it back into his mouth, roll it around and offer it to me again. By the time he was satisfied I was damn glad my feet were on firm ground because I think I might have drowned otherwise. Once content with his game he backed off leaving me standing there in my small boiling pot with the Jade in my mouth and grinned like a loon while he back peddled towards the shore. Well, shit. Chalk one up for the perfect soldier, but I wasn’t about to let him show me up. I was on him in less than three strokes. </p>
<p>“Duo!?” he laughed when I caught him in the shallows. </p>
<p>We ended up wrestling and giggling for a minute before I descended on him and pinned him to the sand with a kiss that I know seriously rocked his world because he was panting like a race horse when I let up. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he gasped and my breath caught in my chest. </p>
<p>I mean holy shit. He was lying there beneath me dripping wet and glittering in the sunshine, his face flushed bright and rosy and the most deliciously confused state of arousal in his eyes. I was hard in two seconds flat. </p>
<p>It wasn’t what I planned, not by a long shot, but suddenly I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. I think if I would have kissed him any harder I might have buried him in the beach, but he didn’t seem to mind. He just kept reaching for me, clinging to me, coaxing me onward until I couldn’t remember my full name more or less that I had ever had any reservations over what I was about to do. I felt an odd rush when my hand found its way down his shorts, the kind you get when you’re afraid your doing something wrong, but can’t figure out why. It was a really strange feeling taking him in my hand, but the way he was responding was driving me totally nuts! I wanted to see more of it; more gasping; more straining; more heat; more of those sinfully delicious kisses I was taking from him as I drove him slowly out of his mind. </p>
<p>I had enough sense about me to put him in a position that made his returning the affection impossible mostly because if he got a hold of me like I had a hold of him I doubt seriously that I would have been able to focus enough to finish the job. He was soon past the point where he could maintain the lengthy kisses needing his mouth to breathe while his body demanded more air. I moved to his neck and chest while my hand worked beneath the surface of the water around his hips. It was such a weird feeling. The skin was so soft in contrast to the hard member it was encasing. Now, its not like I’ve never touched myself, but when I do it’s not my fingers that are doing most of the feeling. Doing that to Hiiro gave me a whole new perspective on the activity that I found not entirely unattractive. Actually, it was most appealing and the more I got into it the hotter Hiiro became; and the hotter Hiiro became the more I desperately needed release. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he gasped when I shifted. I needed him, I need this, I...damn… </p>
<p>“Quiet,” I remember hissing while I maneuvered us so that I could add myself to action. I have no clue what I was thinking, just that I only had one hand to work with and I needed relief so badly it was making me crazy. There was a jolting rush that ran through me when mine touched his and I wrapped my hand around them both. Hiiro hissed and squirmed beneath me and I kissed him hard needing as much of him as I could possibly glean while my blood raced and my heart pounded. Then suddenly he jerked and slammed his head back into the soft sand while his eyes rolled back in his head and his fingers dug into my arms and I felt him, I actually felt his release under my palm as it pumped erratically from his body. I remember calling to the gods when the bubbling heat inside me suddenly burst and I was wrecked with sobbing convulsions. When my mind came back to me enough to retain conscious thought Hiiro was above me kissing me gently; his breath still labored and his body still hot and trembling, but he was there, hovering over me displaying that unshakable strength while he pushed his weakness aside and attended me.  </p>
<p>“I love you,” he whispered wrapping me in his arms and repeating the declaration. It stunned me a little to see how moved he was by the incident, but I suppose it had been a pretty big step forward being the first time I had ever come onto him and taken the upper hand. It was also only the second time we had ever gotten off together and I couldn’t help being amazed by my own tenacity. I still felt strange about it, but there was nothing wrong with what we had done. When I thought about it, as I lay there in his slightly shaky arms, his body warm and sure beside me while his words rang true in my mind; it definitely wasn’t a bad thing. I turned and captured his mouth in a languid, grinning kiss when the thought flittered through my mind, I could very easily get used to this. </p>
<p>However, life goes on as does the mission.</p>
<p>**</p>
<p>Son of  a <b>bitch.</b></p>
<p>“UN!”</p>
<p>“Hey! Lay off!” I growled suddenly finding myself face down on the floor of the warehouse office beside where Quatre was nursing a swollen lip. It’s funny, but the fact that goon boy had just tried to crack my jaw was less painful than the guilt glimmering in those cerulean eyes. I tried to convey the fact that none of this was really his fault, but I doubt he got the full expression before I was jerked back to my feet again with a gun trained on my temple while my arm was wrenched behind my back. These guys weren’t idiots, which was the real reason my Arabian friend and I found ourselves temporarily at their mercy. </p>
<p>“What’d the boss say?” goon boy asked his companion the ape-man. Where do they find these guys? Thug’s-R-Us? It was pretty strange how comfortable the guy was with restraining me. It was almost as if he did this sort of thing all the time, but how many people would try to infiltrate the stronghold of an elite weapons dealer? I felt my ire flare when Quatre grunted when his captor, one snake eye’s in my mind because he was no bigger around than a serpent and had these strangely, yellowish eyes, stepped on his wrists which were tied behind his back and crushed them into his spine. </p>
<p>“We’re taking them back,” ape-man replied hanging up the phone in the little office and coming out to join us. I took note of the semi-automatic rifle in his hands. Nice, definitely not street legal and probably loaded with armor piercing rounds. I knew it would only be the tip of the iceberg where Kotomo Hitomi was concerned. The man had most of the Asian weapons market under his rule. It had been a long time since I had to deal with any real heavies. I felt bad for involving Quatre because this really wasn’t his cup of tea, but Hiiro was under cover and Wufei was with Trowa off planet doing their bit on the case from the opposite end. We were just lucky enough to be on the end that actually had the king pin on it. </p>
<p>“You tell him what we caught?” goon boy laughed pulling my head back by the crown of my hair so he could leer into my face. My heart skipped a beat at the thought that they might actually have figured out who we were. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” ape-man grinned resting his rifle on his shoulder. “That’s why we ain’t gonna kill’em yet,” he smiled. </p>
<p>“Big mistake,” I returned the grin. It never hurts to intimidate the intimidator.  </p>
<p>“Watch yer mouth there, pretty boy,” he warned using the barrel of the rifle to poke me in the chest.  “Or the boss might just decide to let your sunny friend here go first,” he laughed. I shot him a look that clearly stated ‘over my dead body’, but he didn’t appear too concerned over it. </p>
<p>We soon found ourselves in the back of a black sedan being transported, no doubt, to Hitomi’s Estate in the hills outside the city. With the five of us in one car it was a little crowded, but I was still left with an oddly foreboding feeling as snake eyes had calmly plopped Quatre down in his lap in the front seat. It was unnerving how comfortable these guys were with manhandling us and did not speak well for our future. I thought of Hiiro during the ride and wondered if he was safe and what he might do if I didn’t make it out of this one alive. Things had been going so well between us lately. We still hadn’t taken the big step in becoming true lovers, but the day at the lake ended in some of the most satisfying foreplay I’d ever experienced that night. I had intended on completing the seduction, but when it came down to it I chickened out. What if he wanted me to return the favor? What was I supposed to do if he gave me what I wanted? I couldn’t deny him after that and in those few minutes of silence as we drove to our possible deaths all I could do was regret. I wished I had been more confident. I wished I had been less uncertain. I wished a lot of things, but mostly I wished I hadn’t deprived Hiiro of just once knowing the joy of being with someone who really loves you. </p>
<p>I was certain things were a lot worse than we first thought by the time we pulled into the huge, automatic, wrought iron gates because Quatre’s guard was getting more and more friendly with him during the drive. I was starting to get sick to my stomach while I watched him scoot him around on his lap. Quatre finally got enough of it when the guy went so far as to nip at his neck and slammed his head back into the assholes nose. </p>
<p>“Hey!” I barked when Quatre’s face was rammed into the dash and got an elbow in the throat for my trouble. Snake eyes was pulling Quatre back by the back of his hair hissing and spitting curses about what he was gonna do to him when ape-man came to his unlikely rescue. </p>
<p>“Stop messing his face up!” he growled jerking his hand out of Quatre’s hair. </p>
<p>“He broke my fucking nose!” snake eyes growled. </p>
<p>“The boss’ll break your fucking neck if you mess up his face!” ape-man warned while he pulled us to a stop in front of the mansion. </p>
<p>Damn it. This was not going well. If Hitomi was into young boys it was something he had kept very well hidden. I secretly hoped he just had a thing for pretty faces or something, but the way slither breath was behaving wasn’t giving me a warm fuzzy feeling. The up side to this was that it was a good possibility they had no idea who they had actually ‘caught’ lurking around in their warehouse. If they believed we were just a couple of teenage boy’s in the wrong place at the wrong time, then we would stand a good chance of getting out in one piece. People tend to break out the magnetic cuffs when they know who we are. On the other hand, if things were as they seemed, I was a little more worried about our virtue at that particular moment. </p>
<p>We were taken into the house closely surrounded by our escorts who pushed loaded guns between our ribs where no one could see to insure our cooperation. I tried to wedge myself in between snake eyes and Quatre once we were inside the door, but he had other plans and wrapped an arm around his neck pulling him against his chest while he grinned and nudged me away with the tip of his pistol. Fuck. Quatre seemed to be holding up for the most part, playing it cool. Resistant, but not so much as to piss his captor off and I tried to reassure him with my gaze. Then we were being ushered openly at gunpoint towards a room that turned out to be a large study. Hitomi was there sitting behind the big desk just as if all was right with the world. I noted the presence of two elegantly clad young women, one sitting on the sofa, the other sitting on the corner of his desk feeing him a strawberry and surmised they weren’t there for their clerical skills.  </p>
<p>We were led to the center of the room where Snake Eyes dropped Quatre to his knees and held him there while Goon Boy tried to push me down as well until I broke his freaking big toe! </p>
<p>“Ag! You little shit!” he growled raising his rifle in retribution, but before he could land the blow Hitomi’s softly spoken words brought him to an abrupt halt. </p>
<p>“That would be...unwise,” was all he said and suddenly all three of them were backing off and I was doing my best to help Quatre to his feet without the use of our hands. </p>
<p>He let us stew for a time just sitting and watching us with those beetle black eyes. He’s an older man bearing the look of success and power. A bit heavy set with a strong looking jaw and a steely glint in his eyes that told me right off we might be in some serious trouble. </p>
<p>“What business do you have in my warehouse?” he asked at length. </p>
<p>“We were just messing around,” I replied. </p>
<p>“How did you get in?” he persisted narrowing his eyes. </p>
<p>“What’s the difference?” I shrugged. “We were just messing around, looking for shit to sell,” I lied. He wasn’t going to buy it, but I wasn’t going tell him the truth either. His eyes fell to Quatre for a moments regard before returning to me. It sent a chill down my spine when the quality of his voice lost all measure of compassion while he evenly intoned, “Take him below.” </p>
<p>“What’re you gonna do with us!” I demanded doing my best to sound scared instead of pissed while I was pushed towards the door. It became apparent very quickly that Quatre was not to accompany me when Hitomi got up and made his way around the desk and his feminine pets crowded to his side like a couple of house cats hungry for a treat. I caught Quatre’s eyes for a moment and saw in them what I needed to see. He wasn’t going down without a fight. I must’ve been too feisty for him, guess he liked his playmates pliable. Well, he was in for a big surprise if he thought Quatre was just going to let him have his fun. It didn’t make sense though. Why would this guy be interested in molesting us when he owned half the weapons market in existence? If it’d been for money I might have at least understood, but it seemed more like the guy was just demented. </p>
<p>“If you have something more interesting for me to fill my time with?” he asked through this tiny little ‘gotcha’ grin and I made a note to be sure the son of a bitch was in the house when I blew it to hell and back. </p>
<p>“We weren’t doing nothin!” I growled jerking at my captors grip. “What the hell are you? Some kinda pervert?! What’re ya gonna do with him?!” It wasn’t like I didn’t know, but I needed to give Quatre as much time as possible to work out a plan. </p>
<p>“Simply,” he said raising a hand to lift Quatre’s chin, but my Arabian friend wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at the clock on the wall. I glanced as well, ten after. Mark. “Loosen his tongue,” the guy grinned running his thumb over Quat’s lower lip, which he totally ignored in favor of blinking a message to me. Two quick, three slow. Fifteen minutes. I was highly impressed when a tear ran down his cheek masking the old code so well it had Hitomi grinning evilly with satisfaction. </p>
<p>“Hey!” I shouted struggling against my guards while they took me away. “Leave him alone!”</p>
<p>I had fourteen minutes left and no way to know just what Quatre had planned. I had to trust him and work on my own. I lost my escort two wings away when I ‘accidentally’ stumbled and ape-man went out the second story window. Goon boy went down pretty easy when I kicked him in the nuts and the window shards made quick work of the ropes binding me. He was an easy target after than. I glanced at the big hall clock, nine minutes. This guy had to go down, tonight. I said a silent prayer for Quatre’s virtue and hoped like hell he knew what the hell he was doing because it was going to take all the time I had left to set the charges I had hidden in the lining of my jacket on the way back. I was in a full run when I hit the door to that study with fear in my heart and murder on my mind, but what I found on the other side made me stop and almost laugh out loud. </p>
<p>Kitten one and two were tied in a neat little package on the couch while Quatre tight beamed everything on the man’s PC straight to headquarters. Hitomi was nowhere to be seen. </p>
<p>“What did you do? Vaporize him?” I chuckled offering a satisfied grin to the kitten twins. </p>
<p>“He slipped out while I was busy with them,” Quatre replied as serious as a stone while he quickly finished his work. “Here,” he said slapping his hand down on the desk then tossing me the pistol that had been lying there. I caught it by the butt a little impressed with myself at having not lost the talent over time. It had been a long time since we had seen this kind of action. I popped the chamber, checked the load and had this vivid vision of Hiiro’s face; his eyes so intense; his body warm and inviting, his hands roaming my body while he rose above me drenching me in sizzling heat and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. “Duo!” Quatre snapped breaking me out of my little daydream and I followed him quickly out the door. </p>
<p>It was a race against time. We had no way of knowing where Hitomi had gotten off to or how he might be planning to defend his home, so we beat a hasty retreat. Quatre dropped the charges he was carrying in the hem of those weird pants he wears while we went pocketing the detonator as I had my own. We were on the ground floor making a break for the front door when our adversary stepped out in front of us accompanied by at least eight of his employee’s all armed to the teeth and I swear my heart jumped clean out of my chest and slammed against the ceiling when I caught a glimpse of Hiiro’s eyes.  We knew he was undercover, but we had no idea he’d gotten so close to the man. He was a member of his personal guard! The fact that we were about to blow the place off the map and I wouldn’t even have known he was in there did not escape me and it was all I could do not to run and jump into his arms.  </p>
<p>“The disk!” Hitomi snapped. </p>
<p>“Too late,” Quatre replied. “Your entire network has already been sent to Preventer’s headquarters,” he informed him. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I added wearing my trademark, smart-ass grin. “Give up now and you might shave a few hundred years off your sentence.” Hn. He was not amused. Go figure. </p>
<p>“Kill them,” he ground out. </p>
<p>“Aw com’on Koto-chan!” I teased. “Thought you wanted to play patty cake.” It was these words that turned Hiiro’s eyes toward me when he realized the game was over. </p>
<p>“Did he touch you?” he asked Quatre causing all eyes to turn curiously his way. </p>
<p>“He tried,” Quatre replied through a cocky grin that even I would’ve been proud of and Hiiro shot the guy right between the eyes. </p>
<p>Well, he’s never had much trouble passing judgment when judgment is due that lover of mine. If he was that close to the guy then he had to know of his tendencies already. It must’ve been hell keeping his silence if things like that had been going on around him. I didn’t think I wanted to know what he might have done to him if it had been me he had tried to molest. He also had obviously earned his place among the elite bodyguards because the rest of them gave up without a fight. It was a pity really. We had set all those nifty little bombs and never got to burn them. Une had the place swarming with agents inside of twenty minutes after the information was sent from Hitomi’s study and Hiiro cornered me in a coat closet the moment we had a chance to get away and kissed me soundly. </p>
<p>“He didn’t touch you?” he breathed. </p>
<p>“Uh...no,” I gasped. Damn man had a way of turning my bones to jelly. “Guess I was a little too spicy for him,” I chuckled, then I was too busy to talk again for a minute. </p>
<p>“I missed you,” he told me when we surfaced again. </p>
<p>“It shows,” I chuckled pulling him back in for another long kiss only this time I felt the passion flare and the desperation in his lips became more than just gratitude that I was safe. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he gasped forcing himself to pull away. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” I felt compelled to tell him. </p>
<p>“Shhh,” he hissed gleaning another soft kiss. </p>
<p>“I don’t mean to tease.”</p>
<p>“What?” he asked, then pushed away to look at me with this lost look in his eyes. I almost couldn’t bear to look at him. </p>
<p>“I know what you want,” I confessed changing his confusion to concern. “What you need from me,” I went on unable to stop the words after they had begun. </p>
<p>“Duo, I don’t understand,” he told me and I heard the edge of fear in his voice and it all came crashing down on me at once. I am not a man who easily cries and though I desperately wanted to I couldn’t stop the tears in that moment. It offended something deep inside me and was serving to frighten Hiiro half out of his mind because to my knowledge he had never before seen me weep. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he asked softly wiping the tears away. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, but I couldn’t speak of it. I couldn’t believe after all that time it was still with me undermining our chance at a decent future. It had come to me in that moment of vivid surrender in Hitomi’s study, but there was no way in heaven or hell I was ever going to be able to speak the words. I did the only thing I could think of and pushed the butt of my pistol into his hand. His brow knit in confusion, but he took it, then I pushed him back still unable to unclench my throat while the memories flooded my mind as I raised his hand and pointed the barrel straight at my chest. It took him only a moment before his face went deathly white and he dropped the gun in favor of crushing me against his chest.  </p>
<p>“Never!” he swore holding me so tight my bones ached and it still wasn’t enough. “Gods, no,” he breathed into my neck. “I couldn’t. You know I couldn’t.”</p>
<p>“You almost...” I sobbed recalling the glint in his eyes the day he had stood in that cell and aimed to silence me. </p>
<p>“No!” he barked shoving me away so he could look at me. I was shocked by how intense his eyes were; how his voice shook in his need to explain. “I never could have,” he swore. “I told myself I could. All the way there. Over and over again telling myself it was for the good of the mission. It was what had to be done, but when it came right down to it I could have easier shot myself than hurt you,” he rattled off and I knew the truth of that statement only too well. He had held his own life in little regard back then. “It was an excuse,” he said in a softer, more composed voice while he touched my cheek and dried the salty tears. “You were there...all alone.” My god, his eyes are so beautiful. “Did you know I beat the crap out of the guys that hurt you before I came to find you?” he smiled. </p>
<p>“You did?” I snorted feeling the tears ebb. </p>
<p>“Yes,” he sighed softly. “I hated them for what they did to you,” he told me. “I have no doubt, if I would have found it in me to follow protocol and fired that shot,” he went on leaning in to kiss the corner of my mouth. “I’d have followed you a moment later,” then he kissed me and I realized he was right. I had known it all along, that he hadn’t killed me because he cared for me. I didn’t know how deeply back then, but there had always been a nagging doubt that he had done it for some other reason. Doubt breeds mistrust even if you’re not aware of it and once lost, trust must be earned again. If I were to give him all of me I needed to trust him implicitly. I did trust him. I knew it an instant after I thought it. I did, with all my heart because there wasn’t a single thing he could take from me that I wouldn’t freely give. Not even my life. </p>
<p>“Hiiro,” I whispered not exactly knowing what it was I wanted to say, but the sound of my voice served to send him into a frenzy of passionate kisses that nearly had us laid out right there on the coat room floor. “T...take me home,” I managed to croak between the heat waves. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he hissed a thousand questions in my name. </p>
<p>“Take me home,” I nodded and suddenly found myself headed for home at warp speed. I was in no way sure of what was going to happen once we got there, but the feeling that was boiling in me wasn’t diminishing with time. I felt a little guilty about leaving Quatre to finish cleaning up the mess, but this wasn’t something that could wait. I couldn’t stop touching him, holding his hand, kissing whenever we could and he was as flushed about it as I felt. I was excited, as giddy as a schoolgirl and terrified all at once.  There was something brewing between us; something that told me tonight was going to be a night we’d never forget.</p>
<p>“Mm, why’re we here?” I questioned once I regained the use of my mouth again. I wanted to be home with him not sitting in the parking lot of an ABC liquor store. </p>
<p>“You’re tense,” he smiled, then he was gone and I was left simmering in my own juice. </p>
<p>I couldn’t believe the things that were running through my mind. Things I had never even considered as a remote possibility. Things I wanted to do with Hiiro; to Hiiro, things that made my groin pulse excitedly and my heart thump fearfully. It seemed like less than a heartbeat and suddenly he was back and I was all over him right there in the parking lot. I didn’t care that there was some guy staring disgustedly in the window while he got out of his truck beside us. It didn’t matter that there were people glancing warily as they walked on by. All that mattered was quenching that burning need inside me to taste him and feel him against my skin.</p>
<p>“Damn,” he gasped forcing himself to finally push me away, but it wasn’t an easy task I’m afraid. “Let’s go home,” he gently urged reminding me that patience would mean one hell of a payoff and I reluctantly retreated to my own seat. “You okay?” he grinned giving my thigh a squeeze once we were back on the road. The stupid grin on his face belied the fever that burned bright in his eyes. One day that iron control of his is going to be the death of me. It just gives me this insane desire to find a way to break it. </p>
<p>“What’s this?” I asked avoiding the question since I was decidedly not okay, but I wasn’t about to say it out loud. </p>
<p>“Something to calm your nerves,” he smiled while I peeked into the brown paper bag. </p>
<p>“Wine?” I cocked a brow and grinned. “You trying to get me drunk, Yui?”  </p>
<p>“I hardly think that’s necessary,” he chuckled squeezing my thigh a little higher up and I’m afraid I gasped softly and dropped the wine. If that hadn’t put a cocky grin on his face my soft plea that he hurry us home sure as hell did. </p>
<p>He was out of the car and at my door before I could hardly open it once we arrived and I was being drawn forcibly to his chest. For the first time since we had left that coat closet a lifetime ago I felt the strength of his arms enfold me and every bone in my body shivered with delight. </p>
<p>“Hiiro?” I have no clue what I expected. </p>
<p>Him to take me upstairs and douse the raging inferno that had taken up residence inside me I suppose, but that seemed so damn far away, then suddenly he was kissing me and the hood of the car was looking pretty damn good. I felt his will crack when I drew him in and the thrill of knowing it had been his desire for me that had forced the fissure when his hands rounded my ass. I wanted him to lay me down. I wanted him to make me entirely his. I wanted him to crawl inside me and...but then all thought of what I wanted was drowned out by the strobe lights swimming in my vision when he crushed his hips into mine. He called my name when I started unfastening his pants, but his hand came to stay my efforts for some god unknown reason. </p>
<p>“Wait,” he breathed, but I had had enough. I wanted him. To hell with that! I needed him so why was he denying me?! “Ah...gods...Duo. Not here,” he rasped in his halfhearted resistance. </p>
<p>“What?” I hissed not entirely comprehending, then it all started to come back to me. We were still in the parking lot. </p>
<p>“Inside,” was all he could articulate. </p>
<p>I couldn’t believe the glitter in his eyes when he looked at me. It was like his soul was on fire. I nodded and he grabbed at the forgotten bottle of wine on the hood behind me before half dragging me to our apartment. I was winded and giggling like a loon by the time we got there and let me tell you, it was a very strange thing to see Hiiro Yui as giddy as a schoolgirl and laughing right along with me. I cannot recall ever being as high as I was that night nor can I remember a time when I have been as sober as I was the day before. I was in his arms before the door closed. I was in his pants before the first kiss ended. </p>
<p>“Duo” he gasped once again resisting my advance and it was starting to irritate me. </p>
<p>“What?” I snipped a little harsher than I’d intended. </p>
<p>“Slow down,” he insisted gently pulling away.</p>
<p>I couldn’t believe the desperation in my tone when I pleaded , “Hiiro, please.” </p>
<p>“What’re you doing?” he asked. What in the hell did he fucking think I was doing!?!</p>
<p>“I dunno,” was what fell out of my mouth. </p>
<p>“That’s a good enough reason to slow down,” he reasoned. Why in the hell he had to go making sense now was beyond me, but it was obvious if we ended up fighting it would ruin everything, so I tucked my frustration under my hat and relented. </p>
<p>“Don’t pout,” he chuckled compensating me with a small kiss, but I was much more aware of how he was pressing his body softly against mine. It prompted me to tempt him teasingly with my lips, my hands; anything that would gain me what I needed from him, but he is as resilient as he is beautiful. “I’ve wanted for this for a very long time,” he told me looking me straight in the eye. I felt my blood tingle when his gaze intensified and he leaned close to whisper, “I plan on savoring it for the rest of our lives,” then he kissed me again and I understood his desire to slow things down. It was a languid thing filled with promises for the future. I felt his vow of forever seeping into my body, filling me up to overflowing; the thick reality of it all tempered in the flames of our desire until it became something solidly tangible between us.</p>
<p>“Gods,” I whimpered when he pulled away and the bastard had the nerve to chuckle at me. </p>
<p>“Go change,” he instructed and I didn’t have the mind to question it, so I wobbled off in search of something less constrictive than the jeans I was wearing since they felt about three sizes too small. Hiiro disappeared into the kitchen leaving me feeling very anxious to get back to him, so I didn’t waist any time. My favorite PJ’s were still lying on the end of my bed where I had dropped them that morning, but I couldn’t find a decent shirt anywhere in the pile at the end of the dresser. Damn it! Why hadn’t I done laundry!?! I couldn’t go out there without a shirt; it would’ve seemed tawdry somehow. I was just about to go digging in the duffel I keep packed in the closet for a work shirt when Hiiro appeared in my doorway. </p>
<p>“Why don’t you just borrow mine?” he asked shedding the dark green polo shirt he was wearing since I first saw him back in the mansion while he stepped closer to me. I couldn’t say if he was doing it on purpose or if the world just slowed down for a few moments while he pulled the thing over his head, but I got to see every single, rippling muscle in that rock solid abdomen of his flex and contract as he lifted the material up. My eyes were fixed on the steadily revealed skin of his chest, then his strong neck was exposed and finally I got a glimpse of the smug ass grin on his face and turned away blushing clear to the tips of my toes. I knew he was looking at me with the same wanton desire in his eyes and I have never been so vividly aware of my own nakedness in all my life. The PJ bottoms felt horribly inadequate under the intensity of his gaze, but he quickly took pity on me and came to slip his shirt over my head. </p>
<p>“Why bother?” I chuckled even though I was grateful for the cover. I was more than aware of the fact that he was now the one standing there with a bare chest, but unlike me he seemed perfectly comfortable with it. </p>
<p>“I prefer to unwrap the gift myself,” he grinned, then kissed me slowly while he pulled his shirt over my chest and helped me on with the sleeves. I was fervently wishing he’d just pull it back off before he stepped away and led me back into our living room. </p>
<p>I smiled when I got a look at what he’d pulled together in the five minutes I had been digging through the junk on my floor looking for a shirt. There were two glasses of wine sitting on the coffee table next to a brick of sharp cheddar cheese I had planed to make sandwiches out of. Hiiro had cut it into small, perfectly symmetrical squares and added a bowl of grapes to the mix. The couch he had piled up with pillows from his bed and my stereo, the one he never touched, was playing one of my favorite easy listening disks. The lights were off leaving only the dim rays from the kitchen to illuminate the scene and I got the definite feeling we weren’t going to be leaving the room for awhile. Briefly, it crossed my mind that he had chosen the living room to provide some neutral ground, but I was suddenly too busy being kissed and lowered into the couch to think much about it. </p>
<p>It was like Armageddon had descended on my loins. Just that quick, from kiss to couch, I found myself unable to relinquish him. He tried several times to disentangle himself from me before things went too far, but I couldn’t release him. My need for him was too determined, the fever so hot I pulled and begged and demanded some form of relief until he finally gave in and I gasped when his hand slipped under the waist band of my pants. I was done before he’d half gotten started and mortified by my premature release less than a second later. It was only his wondrous exclamation as he drew from me every slight tremor he could glean that I managed to maintain my place in this strangely erotic existence he had created. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” I panted still embarrassed that I had lost control, but he silenced me with a kiss, followed it up with a heartfelt ‘I love you’ then offered me my glass of wine. The glass was mostly empty before I spoke again. I knew he had to be ready to go much as I had been before he had taken the edge off of it, yet he made no move to ease his frustration. He just lay there on my chest holding me contentedly until I felt the embers inside me begin to feed on the heat of his skin. </p>
<p>“Don’t you want some?” I asked and he raised his head to look at me with this coy gleam in his eyes. “You haven’t touched your wine,” I grinned. </p>
<p>“Give me some of yours,” he replied. </p>
<p>“I…” I began, but before I could offer him the glass he was kissing me again and I understood he meant to take it from between my teeth. I would have stayed right there sinking deeper into the cushions and pillows forever if that’s what he wanted, but much too soon he was moving away. He sat up with one knee on the couch beside me and his opposite foot on the floor and downed his entire glass of wine in one gulp. I marveled recalling his more than ample oral talents while he refilled both our glasses, then he sprawled out on top of me and began to feed me pieces of cheese and grapes. That’s when I noticed just how very tired he looked. </p>
<p>“When was the last time you slept?” I asked suddenly feeling guilty. He had just come off a mission and I was left kicking myself mentally for letting my desires block out that fact. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” he smiled slipping another bit of cheese into my mouth. </p>
<p>“That doesn’t answer the question,” I smiled. </p>
<p>“I’m not tired,” he insisted and for a moment I was lost in the warm affection in his eyes. </p>
<p>“You look exhausted,” I told him, but my eyes were playing along the curvature of his bottom lip. </p>
<p>“Maybe I’m drunk,” he grinned using that lip to kiss my stomach where he’d pulled my shirt up. </p>
<p>“On one glass of wine?” I snickered because it tickled. </p>
<p>“On you,” he countered moving down to lap at my navel and suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. </p>
<p>“Your quiet the poet tonight,” I breathed looking for somewhere to set my glass before we ended up with a wine stain on the carpet. He wasn’t really interested in the conversation anymore though, and chose to demonstrate this by nibbling on my extreme lower stomach. “Hiiro?” I groaned knowing, hoping, pleading with everything I had for him to keep doing what he was doing while his touch ignited my blood and sent wave after wave of pure pleasure racing through my veins. There is nothing quiet like being worshiped in that way by the most beautiful creature that has ever lived to give a person a seriously arrogant buzz. I called his name once more before he wiped my mind clean of anything but the euphoric sensations he was lavishing on my body and I felt the rising tide of the inevitable swell within. </p>
<p>So engrossed in this rhapsodic feeling was I that I did not notice the new sensation of his fingers sliding along the crack of my ass until they brushed against the super sensitive skin of the one place I had never thought any other living being would touch. I gasped and it took me a moment to register that everything had suddenly stilled. </p>
<p>“No,” I groaned and for a moment I was confused by his slow retreat. “No,” I all but gasped clutching at him, “Don’t stop,” I pleaded urging him onward towards something I couldn’t possibly have understood, but I knew I wanted it. More than anything I had ever wanted before, I wanted to be one with him. </p>
<p>“Duo?” he questioned breathily. </p>
<p>I could hear the restrained tremor in his tone and felt his determination double with my shakily mumbled, “Please,” then he suddenly swallowed me and I was completely unaware of the intrusion until well past the point of entry. It was the oddest feeling I have ever experienced, but it wasn’t painful as I had feared. Uncomfortable perhaps, but that was easily overshadowed by the pleasures he was drowning the rest of me in. After a time I hardly noticed anymore, then slowly became aware again when he pressed the issue. I was aware of the second addition and felt as it entered my body a heady, utterly sexual feeling if I was any judge at all. It made me wonder what women feel during sex and glad that I had a lover who was willing to explore this strange new aspect of my desires. There was pain with the third intrusion, which brought with it the rekindled fear of what was yet to come. I had held him in my hand, tasted him with my mouth and knew him to be as well formed beneath the belt as he was above. There was no way this wasn’t going to hurt, but I not only trusted him I needed him. No matter the cost</p>
<p>The pain made me anxious to complete the journey, which confused me because I had expected to be reluctant, but I couldn’t get enough of him. His mouth was so skillfully attentive while his hands prepared my body I could hardly wait to feel him moving within me. We were so close, just an angel’s breath away from becoming a single entity and he fairly vibrated with anticipation when I began to beg him for more. </p>
<p>His arms shook when he rose above me giving testament to his heightened state of arousal. I couldn’t wrench my gaze from his passion bright eyes as I slid completely out of my bottoms while he shed his attire, then he was kissing me again. I had to burry my fingers in the couch to keep from loosing it when he crushed his hips into mine. I mean holy crap! I had known him to be aroused before, but he felt as if he were made of solid rock and my head spun at the very idea of what he was going to do to me.  </p>
<p>“Duo,” he rasped suddenly. “Are you sure?”  I could hardly believe he had found the strength to even wonder more or less actually ask. </p>
<p>I knew in that moment if I would have said stop he would have. There was only one response that came to mind and I looked comfortably and confidently into those deep blue eyes when I told him I loved him, so I got to see the fireworks the words set off within him. Then he kissed me deeply and thoroughly and I felt the pressure of his invasion. I tried to pull back and hide my pain away, but he refused to allow it holding me there, loving me with all of his body and soul until there was nothing but us and I found myself intrinsically complete. The pain just didn’t matter; the pleasure was as inconsequential as it was overwhelming. All that mattered was that he was a part of me and that was as it should be. As it would be and I heard my declaration fall unfettered from my lips once again while I begged him to continue the absolution. He returned the sentiment unnecessarily a hundred times over as he rocked us into nirvana. The pain was soon a distant memory and in its place came a different kind of pleasure I could never have imagined in a million years. It was Hiiro. He was with me, he was part of me, he was deep inside me body and soul and I never, ever wanted him to leave. </p>
<p>However, as with all things good or bad, an end must inevitably come. For us it eased in slowly building on a foundation of solid honesty and feelings so deep I truly felt they were beyond measure. I was shocked and amazed when he shifted near the end and my whole world lit up in a blinding flash of pure pleasure. Whatever he did I knew I wouldn’t be able to maintain if he did it again proving the fact when I completely lost it the second time. He did not relent however, and I found myself wrecked with the almost painful culmination, my body heaving and refusing to still when Hiiro shook and clung to me so tight I felt my bones bend under the siege. The rest was a cacophony of harshly rasped words that meant little in their confusion as we fought for enough air to sustain our bodies while our minds returned. </p>
<p>My first clear memory of that time was of Hiiro gently kissing me all over my face. He was moving softly, almost imperceptivity atop me and I became aware of the gentle rocking motion I greeted him with. I knew this was to be one of thousands of such couplings throughout our lives, I knew it as certainly as I felt him shifting inside me, but there was no doubt in my mind this night would be something we would strive to maintain. </p>
<p>“What’re you thinking?” he asked curiously. I wasn’t sure if I had prompted the question or if he just needed to reassure himself that things were okay between us. </p>
<p>“We’re gonna have to try pretty damn hard to top this,” I chuckled. It was fun watching him grimace when I laughed and suddenly I was wondering what other faces I could cause him to make. </p>
<p>“We’re young,” he grinned. “We’ve got plenty of time to perfect it.” Then he was kissing me again and I understood the night was far from over. </p>
<p>That was the first time in my life I was really thankful for having survived it all and the first time in a very long time I looked forward to the future. </p>
<p>owari :)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Write it, draw it, create it,  sing it, SHARE IT. ~ Sunhawk 2019</p></blockquote></div></div>
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